6th Aug

Date has a special ability to remind us of something.
The thing/s that happened during that date will leave an impact (big or small), whether positive or negative in our lives thus become milestone and shaped our lives, way of living and approach of things.

In 2 days time, my country will be celebrating her 43rd birthday. I wish her great success and that she's turn her children back to First Love.

Every Aug will also bring back memories to us as a family.

6th Aug makes the 4th death anniversary of Barnabas.
This date reminds me of the emotionally coaster ride that I've overcomed other than 28th Dec- Birth of this baby boy.

I am really lose for words to type currently cos i really dont know how to put it into words as flashes of scenes keep on flooding my mind.

The scene like getting him ready at home for his rountine check on the 5th Aug,
LONG Waiting time at the children clinic for his admission,
How helpless we were to the extend that our helplessness nearly drive us to walk into the Neonatal department and get his consultant, who knew him well to treat him,
How a young infant fought for his dear life,
How Sum's bf came down to give us support,
How worriesome when doc says he might not pull thru during the night and how baby Barn assured us that he's alright but communicating with us via all the gadgets stuck to him,
How chilled was his body when we last carried him and cried in the emergency room,
How we wept & wept when we drove back in the mini van,
How God ministered to us using the song "Through it all",
They just keep flashing thru...
They just keep flashing...

I was there last night to clean the niche at GOR....

Barn, daddy missed those days when you were back home. I missed putting you on the playpen and playing with you using various colourful rattles. I knew it wasn't easy for you having to take at least 6 types of medication daily but you took it with stride.
OH, the angelic smile you rendered at mummy whenever she bathed you.
And sweet gentle "hoo" when mummy tickled you at your face.

Barn, your nurses & consultants still remembered you fondly even when I sent them text last night. You have help us established some good friendship in the hospital. You have a legacy in that hosiptal. They knew you as Barney, not the purple dinasour.

How you brought so much joy to us despite being a super lightweight baby although you were around 7 months.

To our beloved son:

Hi Barn,
Your stay in KK had taught daddy what life is all about. Your zeal to live. Your passion to survive. Your courage to fight. What a champion! Till then, we do have a divine appointment.... in heaven.

"Let the peace of God come reign in my heart, Let the peace of God come reign in my heart, I will not fret nor will I be anxious. Let the peace of God come reign in my heart"

Loving you since day one,

Your Papa 6/8/04



My Ever Dearest Son,
Well, tho' we did not say goodbye but I know that's becos it is not a goodbye yet, we'll definitely meet in heaven. By then, we will be in a place without tears and pain. Heaven is a place of rejoicing and you get to be there first. Just want to say, that the 3 weeks were great and I am privileged to be your mum.

See you,

Your bestest mummy 6/8/04


Barn, you always have a special place my heart.


Friends, regardless which cross road you are you now. Look to God for that lifeline that will help you to soar above & beyond your situation.
Take care & be blessed!